Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
