How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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