I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
