its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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