Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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