dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
