I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
