You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dicks are not precious.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize