He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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