I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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