I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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