eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
