Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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