I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
