Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
