What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
