He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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