as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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