I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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