Your face is a jimmy john
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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