What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
