Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
