This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You dont lie about slip and slides
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
