You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
50% drunk capacity currently
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
