The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
