Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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