My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
