That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i came on her dog
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
