question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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