ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
