if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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