I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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