I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
