i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
