just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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