Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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