I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
