i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
