I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
