So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
