I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
