Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
