Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it's like iHOP with fire
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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