Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
