Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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