We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
His nipple licking is glorious
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