hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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