I accidentally burped into my bong.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
