butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
