Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
