i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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