I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
